smile

a_wynters_rose


Playing The Angel

angel without a sense of mercy


Zombie
smile
a_wynters_rose
I'm 30.... fuck sakes.

(no subject)
smile
a_wynters_rose
I know no one really reads this. Secretly I think I'm an ok photographer. My wedding pics are proving I'm not that good. Meh.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tags:

Fuck you and fuck her too!
smile
a_wynters_rose
Today has been one big FUCK you in so many ways.  A family member... my mother's aunt... attacked my mother!!  Who the fuck does that?! !?  She broke mom's finger, well, dislocated it, which is worse. 

Almost got kicked out of the jail today by getting an attitude with the guard.  Thank god Dad will be out soon. 

<3 Don is going to give me a massage tonight.  I can't wait.  I need it.

(no subject)
smile
a_wynters_rose
I want to say I love you, but it's really hard. 

(no subject)
smile
a_wynters_rose
... does life ever give you a true break?  I'm convinced no.  Even if you were financially stable, there will always be something that gives you stress.  I figured if I got my life together as much as possible, that I'd be better off.  In all honesty, I am, but it still isn't easy.  Within the last year I've been able to pay off over 2 grand worth of debt.  In the last four months I've been able to rent an apt where I'm the only one on the lease (2 bedroom at the beach), and drive around in a car that is only 5 years old vs. 19 years old.  There are friends in my life that I trust immensely, and very thankful for that.  The stress?  I can't have my cat living with me because my doctor isn't willing to sign the document like he did before (well, his office).  My father is having some horrible issues that messes with the whole family, and my mother can't seem to get a break in life.  You ask why I let the issues that happen to my parents get to me?  Because I have a close relationship with both of parents... well, all three of my parents; My father, my mother and my step-mother.  When they feel stress, I feel stress.  It kills me that right now I'm sitting on my fathers couch, and he doesn't have that option. 

As always I get into writing an entry, then lose fuel before it's at a decent length. 

when the world is black and sepia tone...
smile
a_wynters_rose
 Life gets way too complicated, and sometimes I just hate dealing with it.  I know that's everyone, but I'm not everyone.. they aren't me.. I don't expect others to sympathize/empathize with my issues.  Maybe that's my problem?  I don't talk anymore.  It just builds and before you know it, bam... I'm going crazy.

 Lately my health has been complete crap and I don't have the motivation to do anything about it.  It's because I have barely any energy.  I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, and it's been doing a number on me.  A month ago I was experiencing strong pains in my stomach.  Turns out I had an infection in my stomach/ovaries.  That put me in bed when I wasn't at work.  They had to give me a shot in the ass of antibiotics and I've not had much issues since concerning that.  However, I do have cramps daily in the area where my ovaries are.  Part of the symptoms of this is also Type 2 Diabetes.  There isn't a day that goes by that my hands or feet aren't getting that numb tingly feeling.  It's so depressing knowing that I'm 29 years old and having health issues that can be treated and taken care of... I just don't do it.  It's that kick start that I need.  My job consists of me sitting on my ass for most of the 8-10 hours that I'm here.  That in general has caused me to gain 30lbs in a year.  

On a good note, I'm getting my own place again.  Haven't had that since 2005.  I can't wait!  It's in Lewes, 2 bed, 2 bath.  

I've been working on this for too long and completely lost interest.  meh.

Getting Domesticated
smile
a_wynters_rose
I really don't want to jinx myself, I'm happy.  No drama, new beginnings, a life to look forward to... I'm happy. 

After the holidays are over I'm planning to move to Smyrna and live with Brett.  We're going to start looking into buying a bed, and start saving for a house.  This is the type of house he's looking at: 



I never imaged actually living in a house this big.  The listing for something like this in the area we want to look in is like 250K.   He told me he's looking at spending no more than 300k on a 30 yr mortgage.  Now I want to research stuff about this since I'm very ignorant in the world of house shopping and mortgages.  His credit is almost perfect, so we'll be able to do something like this.  We're working on mine, hoping it will get better in time.  I'm wondering if he co-signs on my new car, would that make him look bad for financing money for a new home?  Hmmm... maybe we should talk about that and see. 

He said he's willing to co-sign for me on a new car.  I'm looking into getting a 2011 Kia Sportage at the moment.  Not sure... still researching some stuff.



Not that color, haha. 



The interior catches my eye.  I was going for a Kia Soul, but none of them have a manual transmission at the local Kia.  Like I said, still searching.  This might be a bit out of my price range.  When I move in with Brett I want to have a new car.  I'll have to end up driving 80 miles around trip, so I want good gas mileage.  I'm also looking at a Honda CR-Z Sport Hybrid.  These are the two I want to test drive soon.  


I'm thinking no for this one due to it not being family friendly (aka, only 2 door).  It's so sexy though!  haha.  Of course the interior is either the happiness (or death) of someone with A.D.D. 




Diamonds reach across the sky...
smile
a_wynters_rose
I know it's a show, but Dexter has me all worked up right now.  Can't help but get emotional, it's pretty intense.  Don't know why I decided to watch it this late at night, but hopefully it won't mess with my sleep. 

Things have been going decently lately I guess.  Work is okay, we're moving shop by November 1st.  I'm lucking out on it due to getting my own office (with a window, it's 15x11) and it's closer to my home by half the distance.  Thankfully I'm only driving for 12 minutes instead of 25. 

Brett and I are doing well, or so I feel like it.  He thinks we're butting heads in a way, but it doesn't seem like that at all to me.  We've been talking about the wedding (or the make-believe wedding since it's not official or anything) and he's being somewhat  flexible, but not very.  It's true, the wedding is more for the bride than the groom.  I'll be honest, I've never imagined myself getting married without my family around.  He's talking about going away and getting married on a beach.  Part of me is all for that.  I did tell him I wanted my parents (dad, mom and marcia) there, along with my sister (and Adam if he'd like).  If he could have it completely his way, it would be J.O.P and honeymoon.  So many people would be killed if I went off and got married without them being there.  I care about that... it's suppose to be the happiest day of my life (one of... having my child is the other).  I really want to meet halfway.  What's the point of having a happy occasion if you can't share it with the people you love?  He might not be close with his family, but I am with mine.  I'm still happy with him and miss him when he's not around.  Usually we get Tue night, Thursday & Friday together.  Three days a week isn't much, hopefully we'll get more soon.  For his birthday, I'm treating him to a weekend away kind of.  On Friday (Oct 8) we're going to West Chester to stay the night.  I need to see what's around there so we can enjoy the evening out.  Saturday we're going to Longwood Gardens for the day.  *meep!*  Then on Sunday we're going to Dave & Busters.  He's never been, so it will be a first for him.  Hopefully Kelly & Colin will be able to join us.  The year some old friends dramatically backed out of taking my sister and I to D&B's for her Bday, my friend Mike and I took her instead.  We both loved it.  So it's definitely somewhere fun to go.  I hope he has fun on his little adventure weekend! 

Bedtime. G'nite

(no subject)
smile
a_wynters_rose
My boyfriend is wonderful. He's taking me to Longwood Gardens next week. <3. The great thing is it's something we'll both enjoy.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tags:

Life is good
smile
a_wynters_rose
I read LJ everyday pretty much, but never post.  Always want to, but never do.  I get a bit irritated when I'm typing and my touchpad mouse thingy on the lappy gets all sensitive and moves my curser.  grrr  Anywho!  Life.. update.. go!

Work is going well, and I've been there for 9 months now.  In these last 9 months I've learned so much dealing with Adobe, VM Ware and Mac systems.  Also have helped do stuff for big corporations such as Dodge and now affiliated with Amazon.com.  My image *Colours* has been selected as one of like 50 images to be sold only through amazon or us.  Also out of almost 1800 images, I'm in the top 15 of the top sellers.  At work I've made some good friends, and have fun with most of my coworkers.  We are supportive of each other, and like do hang out outside of the work place.  A couple weeks ago I went to see my coworker Fernando at this place where his band was playing.  I really feel like his band is better than half the idiots out there who have a record deal.  There are the negatives about work, but I don't like to focus on them.  

I'm happy I'm able to spend time with mom again.  It's nice being able to be with her and my sis.  It's funny being around mom now, because I see that her and I are a lot alike.  My friends seem to love my mom as well, and so do Kelly and my bf's.  :)  

Speaking of boyfriend's... I finally decided that I'm ready for one.  Brett and I have been off and on for 13 years as of this December.  So much has happened with us, but I finally thought about it and told myself that I want to settle down with him.  He has many qualities that are wonderful!  He paid for his car in full in 2 years pretty much, and it's a nice car too!  He has a 07 Charger, cost 25 grand.  I love that he is dedicated enough to pay his stuff off.  One thing I've always said about him is he's a money hoarder.  We're talking about looking for a house, and what we want in it.  Also talking a little about kids.  He has a 10 year old daughter that is a mess, but a good mess.  I finally got to meet her, was very nervous about it.  

Okay, there's the update.  Gonna pack it up and go to bed.  G'nite!

?

Log in